In her heart of hearts, she knows he is her home now. Nevertheless, they must wait – he is not ready. Therefore, she waits and she keeps driving. She use to listen to music during her drive, but it doesn’t give her pleasure any longer. Once the station fades, she is alone with her thoughts.
- What she did right this weekend.
- What she did wrong. These thoughts weigh heaviest.
- What she did not do that she should have.
- Is she enough? If not now, will she ever be?
These thoughts bounce around in her head day and night like daggers. They are there when she is alone and when she is with him. She cannot shut her mind off, no matter how hard she tries. So she waits – the answers will come soon enough. With each rotation of the tires and with each mile that clicks by, her heart sinks lower and lower. Nevertheless, she pushes on. All the while, every cell in her body screams for her to turn around – there is nothing left for you up there but bad memories and loneliness. However, she knows if she turns back, he would be disappointed in her. So she presses harder on the gas pedal, putting more miles between her and the one she loves, just to keep herself from doing what her heart is telling her to do.
Shakespeare wrote, “parting is such sweet sorrow”. Bullshit!!! Parting fucking sucks!!! There is nothing sweet about it!!!!